Virtual Vote - Post No. 2

Last week, I mentioned Facebook. It's hard not to mention the popular social networking website nowadays.

For P.E.I. political junkies, there are many Facebook pages: one for almost every candidate, and a lot more to boot. Enough Facebook pages, in fact, to waste an entire eight-hour shift at the office, just snooping around, looking for Facebook pages on P.E.I. politics.

Not that it would be worth it. Because, as I have learned, most of these pages are meaningless.

That's because Facebook was started as a tool for youth — and despite middle-aged attempts at hipness, it is still a tool mostly utilized by teenagers, many of whom are not old enough to vote.

Take for example PC Leader Pat Binns' Facebook page. I am sure whoever started it had the very best of intentions. However, the results are an example of why, to quote George Bernard Shaw, "Youth is wasted on the young."

Many of the posts on Binns' "wall" are hearty congratulations about bringing in canned pop. Then, some writers look forward to the day when they are old enough to drink canned beer. There are many people lauding him for being cool and coming on Facebook. Some people have promised to vote for him if he writes on their Facebook walls.

And lots, too many, say things like this (note: original grammar and spelling):

"Gaday Patty. First we git the old Sunday shoppin' here, and then we git the cans … when are ya gonna bring in the strippers, bud?"

Or this: "hay pat whats up buddy ,, know all we need is a good bar in the winter (peaks is open in the summer) to go along with thous cans"

Anyway, I suspect Binns is not actually sitting at home in front of a glowing Facebook screen in the evening, Blackberrying his operatives and demanding they work on that problem of a lack of peeler bars in the summer.

Luckily, despite Facebook, there are some very talented writers out there. And some of them aren't even political.

Rob MacDonald is a comedian in Charlottetown. He's in Sketch 22, a very popular summer live comedy show on P.E.I. He also has a personal blog, The Annekenstein Monster. Normally, he writes amusing things about his life.

But it appears the many, many promises of this particular election campaign have gotten to him to the point where he has formed his very own political party, which now makes his blog a must-read for those of us who, well, need a break from a $14-million promise-a-day schedule.

His political party is called the Bridal Party, and he has made some absolutely promising promises. So much so, I might even vote for him. For example, from his blog this week:

Rob Promises: Every job a seasonal job.

This will require quite a change of thought regarding how things are done on P.E.I. However, if everyone goes along, we'll all be living the life of Riley. This is how it works:

Every job on P.E.I., both private and public, will become seasonal, lasting four months. On Sept. 14, 2007, everyone on the island will be laid off. Everyone. Then, on Sept. 15, all the jobs on P.E.I. go into a lottery. Every citizen of P.E.I. who is eligible to work will be given a lottery number and in sequence will get to draw their next job from the hat, until either all jobs are picked or all work-eligible people receive jobs. (Everyone else will either go on EI or welfare. Only we will now call it "Vacation.")

These people will be in their new jobs for four months, until Jan. 14, at which point they will all be laid off. Then a new random allotment of lottery numbers will be issued and, in sequence, new jobs will be received. However, this time, people can hand-pick their next jobs.

They must, however, pick from an assortment of jobs with incomes that are in inverse to their last job, based on the provincial average of income.

As for those protesters who ask what happens if someone isn't qualified for their new position? C'mon, seriously, how hard are most jobs? Most jobs, monkeys could handle them. I've got a monkey as my idea guy. He came up with this idea.

So, that's another promise: every job a seasonal job. Sounds good to me.

MacDonald has also promised an emergency room for every home and a combination Tim Hortons/Access P.E.I. drive-thru.

I would suggest you bookmark Rob's blog. You'll need it. After you read some of the political blogs out there.

For example, there is a guy. We don't know who he is, but we suspect, strongly, he might be a Tory. His blog is called The Regional Patriot. Mostly, he attacks the Liberals.

Recent headlines include: Liberal Tactics are Confusing and Ridiculous.

And: P.E.I. Liberal Youth are Mindless, Brainwashed.

He appears to rely heavily on anonymous sources, and possibly the sources in his own head, or at least that's what my sources tell me. However, he gets traffic, according to my sources.

That's not to say there are no anti-Tory blogs out there. There are.

P.E.I. Disability Alert is, ostensibly, a blog to discuss disability concerns. However, it's mostly a blog aimed at attacking Binns and the Tories. Its motto seems to be "The meaner, the better."

It's run by a guy called Stephen Pate, who can be found with a cardboard sign and a video camera bugging Tory candidates at public events. He's the same guy who was banned from Wikipedia for sabotaging Binn's Wikipedia page — and threatening to sue Wikipedia when they tried to stop him.

My sources also tell me his blog also gets quite a bit of traffic.

I'm not sure why nobody rants against the NDP or the Green Party with the same vigour as these two.

There are some sites out there where people are actually discussing issues, and I would recommend a visit to them, when your head starts to overflow with political propaganda.

Last week I mentioned PEIinfo.ca (whose internet address is actually peiinfo.com, for some reason). On its political page, chatters are debating actual real political campaign issues. Some hot topics this week were the promise for a new school in Stratford, Robert Ghiz's leadership abilities and the prospects for the NDP.

There are also a couple of sites out there where you can find out news you might have missed.

Drop the Writ is a Canadian website devoted to following political developments. P.E.I. election news gets posted there regularly.

PEIPolitics.com is run by Islander Derek MacEwen. It keeps track of all the political chatter — formal and informal — that goes on out there, and provides links and good updates on what's been promised and who said what.

One other place where Islanders are beginning to post comments is the CBC's P.E.I. Votes 2007. If you're itching to make a comment — make it here. We care! We PROMISE we'll, um, we PROMISE we'll pave your road — give you a doctor — lower your gas bill.

Ah, no.

We promise we'll read your comments. That's about it.