For Your Ears Only

Shirley Bassey. (R. McPhedran/Express/Getty Images)

A new James Bond film entails more than just another adventure for the super-suave British agent. It means the unveiling of a new Bond villain, new Bond girls, new exotic Bond locales … and a new Bond theme. From Shirley Bassey to Carly Simon to Garbage, the choice of artist for this illustrious assignment has been a reflection of the pop culture zeitgeist. Casino Royale (out Nov. 17) marks the debut of a newer, meaner 007: British actor Daniel Craig. Thus, the choice of rough-voiced singer Chris Cornell to belt out the theme. Here’s a tally of the most exceptional and egregious Bond songs.

The five best:

1. James Bond Theme (1962) by the Monty Norman Orchestra
It’s hard to overstate the pop-cultural influence of Monty Norman’s original theme. From the ascending minor-key string part to the sly surf-guitar riff, this is one of the most recognizable songs, period. Forty years on, it still gives moviegoers the shivers.

Paul and Linda McCartney. (Central Press/Getty Images)

2. Live and Let Die (1973) by Paul McCartney & Wings
This song has it all: piano balladry, pomp and circumstance, full-throated rock ’n’ gusto, even a bit of reggae. Not to mention this pithy summation of 007’s mandate: “What does it matter to ya? / When you’ve got a job to do / You got to do it well / You got to give the other fella HELL!” Not only the second-best Bond theme, but one of the high points of 1970s rock.

3. Goldfinger (1964) by Shirley Bassey
The first thing that hits you is the trombone, blowing fat and loud like an elephant. Next, it’s the timeless tone of Shirley Bassey reciting the qualities of Bond’s most notorious foe. It’s fair to say that without this song, bands like Portishead and Goldfrapp would never have formed.

Nancy Sinatra. (Daily Express/Express/Getty Images)

4. You Only Live Twice (1967) by Nancy Sinatra
The combination of Nancy Sinatra’s caramel voice and the hypnotic string figure makes this the most blissful Bond theme — an aural narcotic, if you will. (If you need a cue, think of Robbie Williams’s 1998 single Millennium, which sampled the string melody.)

5. Tie: A View to a Kill (1985) by Duran Duran and Die Another Day (2002) by Madonna
Both these songs are unapologetic products of their time. With its synthesized orchestra hits and singer Simon LeBon’s distinctly British swagger, A View to a Kill is delightfully garish — much like Roger Moore’s run as Bond. Madonna’s Die Another Day is also a marvel of synthesizer technology, and almost as glorious as her sexy 2000 single Music.

The five worst:

1. All Time High (1983) by Rita Coolidge
Within 20 years, the Bond theme had gone from being the pinnacle of pop songwriting to … this. Rita Coolidge’s drippy ballad does nothing to convey Bond’s cunning or machismo. But then neither did the film’s title: Octopussy.

2. The Living Daylights (1987) by a-ha
A-ha: there’s the problem. While the Norwegian band charmed us with Take On Me, they had no business getting this plum gig. Not only does Morten Harket have a fey voice, he’s a poor enunciator. As it turns out, the underlying synth-pop is almost as muddled as the lyrics.

Chris Cornell. (Jay Maidment/Sony Images)

3. You Know My Name (2006) by Chris Cornell
The hiring of Chris Cornell — ex of Soundgarden, now growling for Audioslave — was supposed to mirror the toughness of the new Bond. Sadly, You Know My Name isn’t nearly tough enough. Co-written with Bond composer David Arnold, this lurching mid-tempo rocker has none of Cornell’s jagged appeal, and is as dull as the film is dazzling.

4. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) by John Barry Orchestra
The Bond songs have always sought to assimilate the latest movements in pop music. John Barry’s theme features complicated orchestra stabs and flatulent synthesizers, a sure sign of the growing vogue for progressive rock. If the series’ producers were going for gaudy excess, they should have just hired Emerson, Lake & Palmer.

Lulu. (Evening Standard/Getty Images)

5. The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) by Lulu
A combination of Zeppelinesque guitar power and Shirley Bassey-style torch song, this is another of the series’ awkward attempts to meld the latest rock sound with symphonic largesse. Lulu gives it her all, but the material is twitchy and cumbersome, everything Bond is not.

Andre Mayer writes about the arts for CBC.ca.

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